The Book: 3000 Orgasms

How I Went from a Sexless Marriage to a Multi-Orgasmic Wonderland

It’s less than 50 days until my book, “3000 Orgasms,” launches online. Today I’m sharing the Introduction to the book with you, my loyal Substack subscribers. If you scroll down to the bottom there’s an opportunity to sign-up as an Advanced Reader and get a free copy of the e-book in exchange for writing and posting an honest review of the book online.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this introduction and welcome any feedback.

Love,
Bec

---

Introduction

I had my first orgasm at 12 years of age. I lay on the floor of my bedroom (why there, I’m not sure) and masturbated to sexy images in my mind. I brought myself to climax with hard, rapid movements of my middle finger on my clitoris.

I’m telling you this and will tell other stories of my sexual history to provide some context for the journey I’ll expand upon in this book - the journey that the book’s subtitle alludes to.

These days I can have multiple orgasms during masturbation by stimulating my clitoris and multiple orgasms during partnered sex without any clitoral or vaginal stimulation at all. I hope the anecdotes I relate and the techniques I describe in this book will help you to find ways to enjoy sex and the pleasure of climax that you may not have considered or tried before.

I write from the perspective of a cis-gendered heteroflexible woman but wish to be inclusive of anyone with a vagina and/or vulva. Much of what I talk about from my journey applies to people with penises too, and I have certainly helped a couple of cis-male partners focus on their pleasure with outstanding results. For the sake of simplicity, I will use the terms ‘woman,’ ‘women’ and ‘female’ throughout.

My story takes place in a cis-gendered, heteronormative and monogamish context, and I wish to acknowledge readers from the LGBTQI+ community that I hope might also benefit from this book’s content.

Why You Need This Book

I’ve been thinking about you for a long time—years, in fact—while preparing to write this book. Whether you’ve picked it up because you’re a woman struggling with anorgasmia, a woman who’s already enjoying orgasms but longs to elevate her sex life to new heights, or the partner of someone who fits either description, you’re in the right place. If you’re here because you crave an expansive vision and reality for your intimate life, welcome. Let’s dive in together.

This book is for anyone seeking more joy, connection, and fulfillment in their sexual experiences. I know from the feedback I’ve received that many of you are partners—people who love the women in your lives deeply and want to help create a more expansive and pleasurable intimate reality for them. Your presence here is meaningful. It’s encouraging to know so many men and partners want to explore this journey alongside their loved ones.

Interestingly, I’ve discovered through my 3000 Orgasms Substack newsletter—where I share personal stories, practical advice, and reflections on intimacy—that nearly half of my free subscribers and 80% of my paid subscribers are men. This was a pleasant surprise, but it reinforces what I’ve come to believe: our partners also crave deeper intimacy, connection, and shared pleasure. This book, like my Substack, is for all of us—because an expansive vision of intimacy transforms not just the individual but also the relationships and communities we build.

I’m writing this book because countless friends and acquaintances urged me to. Over the years, I’ve told my story: how I went from being a prudish young woman in my twenties, navigating the often taboo topic of sex, to a divorcee in my forties, living a life of daring erotic adventures and unparalleled sexual pleasure.

As you read, you’ll witness the hurdles I faced—puritanical dogma from peers, shaming, emotional and verbal abuse within my marriage, and even a cancer diagnosis that could have derailed my journey. You’ll also see how I overcame them, reclaiming my body, my desires, and my capacity for pleasure.

But this isn’t just a story of struggles and setbacks. It’s about transformation. I’ll share how mindfulness, self-growth, and an unapologetic focus on my own pleasure paved the way for a sexual awakening that changed my life. By tracking my sexual experiences, embracing my body, and exploring intimacy without shame, I discovered the joy and boundless potential of my sexuality.

I’ll also share actionable insights—the techniques, practices, and mindsets that helped me grow. My hope is that you’ll find inspiration in these pages and tools to help you in your own quest for a more meaningful and pleasurable sex life.

Throughout the book, I reference some of my favourite thinkers—Emily Nagoski, John Gottman, Esther Perel, and Dan Savage—whose wisdom has guided me and, I hope, will motivate you too.

This memoir is rooted in the truth of my life, with names changed for privacy. The data about my 3000+ orgasms, meticulously tracked within hours of each sexual episode, is real.

You deserve intimacy that feels expansive, transformative, and deeply fulfilling. If this book serves as a guide to creating that reality for yourself—or for you and your partner—then I’ve done what I set out to do.

What’s Unique about this Book

To my knowledge, nobody else has tracked 3,000 orgasms in a single year, let alone approached it with the intention of discovering meaningful patterns and insights. My journey wasn’t just about pleasure—it was a data-driven experiment, a way to better understand my body and enhance my experiences. By analysing the trends, from the timing that led to the best experiences to the subtle impact of mood and stress, I found a new level of self-awareness and connection. It’s a unique blend of science and sensuality, where tracking and analyzing intimate data actually became the key to unlocking greater joy and depth in my sex life.

I’m uniquely capable of telling this story because I’ve lived it, from the quiet pain of a sexless marriage to the liberating discovery of my own multi-orgasmic potential. My journey wasn’t just personal—it was intentional, measured, and deeply reflective. As both a relationship coach and a self-professed data nerd, I bring a unique combination of emotional insight and analytical curiosity to the conversation about pleasure. Tracking 3,000 orgasms in a year might sound unusual, but it gave me real, actionable insights that transformed my life and that I haven’t seen discussed elsewhere. I’m here not only to share my own story but to provide the tools, knowledge, and encouragement that other women need to explore their desires and rewrite their intimate lives.

So many women feel a sense of disconnection or boredom when it comes to sex. Daily stress, routines, and the demands of life leave little room for an expansive vision of what pleasure can be. That’s why this story and approach are worth exploring, even investing in. Through tracking and intentional discovery, I’ve uncovered ways to bring more joy, connection, and excitement into my own life, and I want to share those tools with readers. This book is a door to fresh perspectives and practical tips on rediscovering pleasure, helping readers break free from the monotony and reignite their sex life.

How to Use This Book

Let me start by saying this: this book is for you, and you’re welcome to engage with it in whatever way feels most comfortable and beneficial. Whether you want to dive deep into every chapter or skip around to the sections that resonate most with your current experiences, this book is designed to meet you where you are.

The Structure of the Book

This book is divided into three parts:

• Parts One and Two: My Memoir
  These sections tell the story of how I transformed from a woman navigating shame, trauma, and self-doubt to someone who recorded 3000 orgasms in a single year. It’s a journey filled with challenges, revelations, and triumphs.

• Part Three: Your Intimacy Guide
  This is where I shift the focus to you. Here, I’ve included practical advice, exercises, and strategies to help you expand your vision and reality of your intimate life.

While I’ve designed the book to be read sequentially for the richest experience, you’re welcome to jump between chapters or sections based on your interests and needs. Parts One and Two provide context and inspiration, while Part Three offers actionable steps to implement in your own life.

A Word About Content

This book contains explicit sexual references throughout. It’s an honest exploration of my journey, and I don’t hold back when discussing intimate details. For those who have experienced relationship trauma, including emotional or verbal abuse and coercive control, I want to offer a trigger warning. Some parts of my story touch on these difficult topics, and it’s okay to pause or skip sections if they feel overwhelming.

While this book shares my personal experiences and the techniques that worked for me, it’s important to note that I’m not a medical professional, psychotherapist, or clinical sexologist. I’m simply a woman with lived experience, someone who has coached others and has a story to tell. If you’re facing challenges with your sexuality, seeking professional advice is a vital first step to rule out any medical conditions or deep-seated psychological issues.

Nothing I share here should be taken as medical or psychological advice, and I can’t promise the same results I’ve experienced. But I hope some of you will feel inspired to give the ideas and practices I outline a try—and that they’ll bring you closer to the intimacy and pleasure you’re seeking.

What You’ll Learn From This Book

Here’s an overview of the key themes and lessons you’ll find as you read:

1. Creating Your Intimacy Vision
   I’ll guide you in crafting a clear and personal vision for intimacy, helping you align your desires, values, and goals to create a sex life that feels intentional and fulfilling.

2. Reclaiming Pleasure as Self-Care
   Discover how pleasure can be a profound form of self-love and resilience, an essential part of your overall well-being.

3. Healing Through Connection
   Learn to navigate emotional and sexual healing, breaking free from past shame to embrace deeper intimacy and joy.

4. Practicing Mindful Intimacy
   Explore techniques for staying present during intimacy, enhancing your connection with yourself and your partner.

5. Communicating Desires with Confidence
   Gain practical tools for expressing your fantasies, needs, and boundaries openly and effectively.

6. Embracing Sexual Empowerment
   Celebrate your sensuality, rediscover your body’s potential, and approach your desires with curiosity and courage.

7. Sustaining Fulfillment in Relationships
   Find actionable advice for keeping intimacy alive in long-term partnerships, ensuring growth and connection for years to come.

Ultimately, this book is an invitation to explore intimacy as a vast, transformative, and deeply personal journey. Whether you’re here for self-discovery, relationship growth, or simply to understand what’s possible, I’m thrilled to have you along for the ride.

As you turn the pages of this story, I hope you will be stirred to embark on your own journey towards sexual self-discovery and fulfilment. My memoir is a call to arms for women everywhere to take control of their sexual happiness and to find joy in every intimate encounter. So, put down your inhibitions and join me on this exhilarating journey towards sexual liberation and self-love.

---

If you’d like to be an early reader and reviewer and receive a free e-copy of the book, “3000 Orgasms,”, please reply to this email or complete the form below. Advanced Reader Copies will be sent out on 13 January 2025.